Nothing Good Comes Easy

So I touched on the thought that, "nothing good comes easy" in the beginning of my last post.  And in my short list of good things that don't come easy, I mentioned writing a song. 

I am a mother, a wife, a baker, a friend, a bookkeeper, a songwriter...
From the moment I wake up to the moment that my two children go to sleep (roughly by 7:30pm) I am 100% devoted to their needs.  Anything that I could possibly want to do during the day, has to be weighed out and determined whether or not I can accomplish that thing in the presence of my kids.  Most things, aside from being a mother, have to take place in the evening hours.  On a good night, discipline rules and I can head nose first into the world of songwriting. 

Art begins with spontaneous inspiration from who knows where.  The words are all there floating around, I just need to reach up, grab them and place them together like a puzzle.  Sometimes I have a clear path and a story forms in such a fluid way, it's thrilling.  Other times, there is a lot of muddle to work through and I will have spent 3 to 4 hours of the evening in frustration like a Phlebotomist that can't find the vein.  It is in those moments that I have crazy thoughts filled with self doubt.  "Who do you think you are?  You call yourself a song writer?  You've wasted an entire evening?  Pack it up!"  If I were to listen to those thoughts and let them win, I would die.  I would be losing a vital piece of who I am. 

So in those times of writers block, there is only one thing for me to do.  Go to bed.  Get re-energized.  6AM comes really soon and the other vital parts of me need attention as well.  Perhaps the pitter patter of little feet running down the hall will create new inspiration.  My eyes will be awake and open to all the creative possibilities a new day will bring.  That much needed rest, I hope, will give me a fresh perspective and allow me to believe that tomorrow is a new day, the evening will come again and I WILL write another song.

Holding the Pose

I find it amazing that anything that's really good, doesn't come easy.  I can name a few obvious things, the birth of a child, saving money for a down payment on a home, the traffic you have to fight through after a long day of work, writing a great song... the list goes on.
My husband and I have recently been consumed by a rather large life decision.  It's one of those decisions that either way you go, you won't be wrong, but because we can't see the future, we are riddled with the options of what will ultimately be the best choice for our family.  The best thing to do when you find yourself at a cross roads, is of course to pray, and hope that the Spirit moves you like a weather vane and points you in the right direction.  While waiting for that wind to blow, you can either get knocked over, disoriented, frustrated, etc.  or allow yourself to sink into the inner peace that comes from faith.
This summer I have been exercising frequently.  I play the same podcast with the same instructor about 3 times a week.  There is a pose the instructor loves to have us hold for long durations, of course, because it will ultimately net a great butt and thighs, but the other motive is to grow in the ability to relax in the face of something challenging.  The idea is to focus less on the struggle, and more on all the good stuff that is going on around you.  Perhaps its a resting pose, a time to quiet the mind.
At the moment, we don't know which way we are going to go, but while we wait at the cross roads, in our pose, I'm learning how to be alive and breathe through it.

A Song for a Rainy Day

This Summer I started writing songs with my good friend Jim Trick (jimtrick.com).  Songs come from lots of different places but one of the best sources for songwriting material are the true stories of others....  This entry is about one of our new songs and the story behind it.  

My girlfriend is a photographer.  She was sharing with me about a wedding she had just shot the day before hurricane Irene hit.  The bride was in tears as she looked out at the rain pouring down on her outdoor sanctuary and said, "this wasn't the plan".  Although the desire was to have the perfect weather to accompany her dreams of a perfect day, perhaps this imperfection was actually perfection.  My girlfriend described the bride walking through the mud, the guests wearing raincoats and the best man on his knees, holding an umbrella over the bride and groom to shelter them as they stood close to exchange rings and vows.  Although not ideal, when she looks back at her wedding day, she will have the memory of the level of love that was shared and how it continued weather rain or shine.  I was practically moved to tears, and decided this story needed a song.
If you click on the link below, you can hear the song Jim and I wrote being played as the soundtrack to the slide show of their wedding pictures.  It's called "Weather or Not".

http://shylaphotography.com/slideshows/tessahamo/

 

So here I am...

Laying in an almost pitch black room.  My 4 year old daughter is nestled up against me.  She's shooting her flashlight at the ceiling and making shapes with her hand, discovering shadows and the way the light bends.  It's a new world for her and everyday a new discovery.  As I am with her, I can't help but think of all the things I need to get done, all the things that are put on hold, and I catch myself doing it.  It's work sometimes to stop my thoughts from being where I am not.   She called me into this room to be with her.  I get to experience this moment.
So here I am...